Man in restaurant: Do you like cocktails?

Blonde Girlfriend: Yes, tell me one.



Professor Ivor Hardie has just invented a dog voice translator and tried it out recently in a street with 8 dogs. Here is a transcript of the recording:

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!



Man & Wife in a street at midnight.

Woman: Oh, look at that. Two dogs 'at it' in the alley. How can I stop it?

Man: Don't really know

Woman: I know, I'll try phoning the vet.

Man: It's midnight you know... Oh well, what else can you do?

Woman phones vet: Help, there're two dogs 'doing it' in a nearby alley, can you give some advice?

Vet: Why not tell them they're wanted on the phone?

Woman: Will it stop them?

Vet: Well it's just stopped me.